Why do people think they can say mean things, and then take it back? Don’t they know there are things that can never be taken back?

I have never said anything to anyone that I didn’t mean fully. I guess I learned that practice from my mother. She would say mean things, and I couldn’t understand it at the time. When you are 10 years old, it’s hard to understand why the adult in your life is losing control. She is a great mom. I love her deeply. And I don’t blame her for anything. I’m just stating facts here. She did the best she could with the information she was given. She taught me to only say what you mean, and that you can’t take anything back. Be careful with your words. I love and care deeply for my friends. I would never speak to them the way that some people speak to me that ‘claim to be my friend’. To me, that is not a friend, and it never, ever was. It never will be. It’s just not ‘how I roll’.

However, it taught me a great, great lesson. Say only what you mean. And see things for what they are. When someone gets emotional with me, even if they say they only said things because they were hurt…………….. the bottom line is, that is really how they felt. That was their true bottom line feelings. So, if they call me names, and they say I am this or that…………… they meant it. Even if they said it out of extreme hurt. Even if they felt I personally did them wrong. Even if they were attempting to say it just to hurt me. It’s still real. It’s the bottom line, the true color, the real deal. You can’t just turn around and take it back. Especially if it was written in email. Email is logged and forever. If you are saying something just to hurt someone, you still thought it in your head………… and you MEANT IT!! No matter what. You can’t ‘take it back’. That is completely silly! If you were thinking it, and it came out in a moment of passion, you MEANT IT!

I had a guy awhile back that was a really young kid. He felt he was some sort of ‘Hitch’ character. An actor in Los Angeles of self importance. He thought he could drop a couple of quick lines, and play ‘the game’ with me, and I would swoon at the first chance to be with him. I’ve been in porn for over 10 years…………… I’ve seen every ‘game’ there is. That may work on 18 year olds, but, I started in the bars at a VERY young age! It simply won’t work with me. And my biggest discovery on the internet is, if you wait…………… the true colors do come out. I told him in the nicest terms possible that I wasn’t interested. To me, he was like a rat in a maze, trying to find his way to my pussy. When his ‘game’ didn’t work………….. he wrote some VERY, VERY mean things in an email. SERIOUSLY THE WRONG MOVE!!! That will never work, and if you think the person on the other end of your email isn’t real…………….. you are so completely wrong!

The bottom line is this. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. And don’t try to ‘take it back’. You’ve already released it into the ‘airways’. It’s already out there swirling around in someone’s mind. What is that saying? “Too little too late”. Cut your losses and move on. When “Hitch’ did that to me, I blocked him in every way. And I block ANYONE that does that to me. What is the point in continuing communication? Obviously, they think differently. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with different thinking. I encourage that! But, I will never spend the time arguing to convince someone of my point of view. Free will. Free Will. Free Will. Move on, and find someone else that will validate your point of view. I won’t. It doesn’t mean I hate you, or don’t care about you. I just won’t succumb to your abuse. I’ve learned that lesson, and I don’t need to revisit it. But, I will thank you greatly in your participation in my continued learning.

Ok……………. I know what you are thinking………….. where is the porn???? The set this week is hot, hot, hot! (I had to make sure of that, considering you listened to the ramblings of my mind!)

As always, click the photo to view the whole set!! I thought a ‘jail’ set would be appropriate, for those that feel like victims, and those that feel that they are the ‘jailers’ or tyrants.

XOXO
Jax

I guess I’m just as twisted as they come! I was raised extremely strict Catholic, and from that, I obviously rebelled. It is my belief that the more confined and forbidden we make something, the more we want to do it. I was told growing up that sex was really bad! Yet, my father had Playboy magazine’s in the magazine rack. I remember looking at them when I was only 9 years old and thinking, “My dad likes this, I’m going to grow up and look just like those girls!”. And I did. Am I blaming my parents for me getting into porn? Of course not! No one held a gun to my head. I made a perfectly rational grown up decision based on my own hormone’s!

The very first time I ever gave anyone head, it was in the basement of our church that I was forced to go to every Sunday. I never quite looked at it the same after that, and I had gotten my first real lesson in hypocricy from the guy I gave the head to. I can’t remember his name, but, for fun, we will call him Ted. Ted was a ‘jock’ at school, and a complete dickhead. We were making out in the church basement, and he pushed my head down onto his cock. It happened so fast, he came all over my face. I can’t say it was alot of fun at the time. I think I was only 16 years old. (maybe younger). Then, afterwards, he proceeded to tell me that giving head was okay, that wasn’t sex. (He must have been to Clinton’s school of thought!) He told me how religious he was, and how he was such a good person, blah, blah, blah, blah!

He ignored me at school, but, tried to get me into that church basement when ever he could! I never went back. The only thing I went into the basement for after that were donuts and coffee. I had to see him every Sunday, and my parents were convinced of what a ‘nice boy’ he was. And why didn’t I invite him over to the house. I thought, ‘oh my! If you only knew’ My dad would have served Ted’s balls up for dinner if he had known!

Since then, I am completely rebellious towards religion. So, my girlfriend, Ashley Renee has been completely nervous to do a religious set, and she finally did one this week! (It’s super hot by the way!) And she was even nervous to actually put it on her site. Of course, I egged her on! It’s totally hot and if people are offended, well, then, I guess you shouldn’t be looking at a porn site to begin with. If this offends you, you need to go repent right now! And don’t bother praying for my soul. There are plenty out there that are already doing that. Trust me, I get those hipocritical emails as well. Call me a sinner, call me a blasphemous, call me what ever you want. Like my blog says, no regrets, and definately no apologies!

If it doesn’t offend you………….. I hope you go check out her site. I think it’s absolutely sexy!

The Cardinal learns of Ashley’s most unholy affairs. He ties her up and makes her beg for forgiveness as he tries to rid her soul of the sin that has taken over. Can Ashley’s soul be saved? This is just a couple of example photos, click to photos to see more!!!

Love,
Jackie

I had never had anal sex until I get into the porn industry. In fact, my VERY FIRST time ever doing anal was on film.

I was always really afraid to try it. I thought it would hurt too badly, or just be uncomfortable. I had no idea how much fun it would be! I also thought that it was just weird to want something like that. Like I’ve always said, I found myself with porn. I found out who I was, and what I was made up of. Anal sex was just another exploration.

I was living in Oregon and I flew to Los Angeles to meet people in the industry and see if I would want to ‘work’ with them. (Actually, I wanted to find out if I’d be attracted to any of them to want to have sex. Little did I know I would be attracted to EVERYONE, and my definition of attraction changed.)

After doing my very first film, I flew back to Oregon to contemplate getting into the industry. But, Shane’s World followed me and shot a film there. That is when I met Vince Voyeur. The man who wouuld convince me it was time to pop my anal cherry! Man did we have fun!

Here is the film that popped my anal cherry! Click to see more!

CLICK TO VIEW ENTIRE MOVIE


I’ve had a huge fantasy for the longest time, and it’s actually one I have never gotten to do!! I was talking with some friends the other day, and I actually made the statement that I had done it all.

I really thought that most of the fantasies I’ve had in my head, I’ve done at least once, if not, twice! (Just to be sure I loved it!)

I’ve always had this fantasy about remote controlled vibraters. So far, technology hasn’t quite gotten it yet, but, what they do have would certainly work! I’ve done the remote control vibrators through the internet, where the guy on the other end watches and controls the vibrator! That was fun! But, my fantasy would be for me to have some vibrating panties or maybe some other sort of vibrating egg inserted into my pussy.

Now, the ideal would be that I would be going about my day, and at any point, the vibration could be turned on, from where ever the person holding the remote is. But, with most of the current toys, the controller would have to be in close range. So, I guess I would have to settle with someone following me around for the whole day.

It would be great to be on the bikes at the gym, and for the vibration to just come on. Imagine trying to control the orgasm in public? I think I could do it! I’d sure love to give it a try! So, my next question would be, who wants to hold the remote?
Love,
Jackie

Ashley and I have been friends for a really long time. We got to know each other over our love for sushi, and our love for fetish. Though I’m not living in Los Angeles anymore, we talk on the phone just about every day. We always laugh together, no matter what.

Ashley is a submissive, through and through. She’s the real deal. I enjoy submission as well, but, my personality is a bit strong. It takes one hell of a man to break me. But, when and if he does get through my strength, he unlocks an insatiable sex beast! But, Ashley is just a natural submissive. When we go out to restaurants, many times, she makes me order for her. (Always topping from the bottom! hehehe)

Inevitably, if we are ever in a situation, I will always step up and protect her. But, I’m naturally protective of my friends. Her submissive self will gladly let me do that. She’s not a push over, there’s a HUGE difference.

We had a big discussion the other day between the difference of a 24/7 slave, and a submissive. Many men just want that slave, (which is actually what I expect out of my male slaves!). And the fantasy of that is awesome, trust me, I understand it completely. But, the reality of being a 24/7 submissive would just never work for me. I have a life. The fantasy is great, the reality would never happen.

However, I absolutely think that Ashley is SO sexy when she’s in her subspace. And if I could have her 24/7, I wouldn’t say no!!! She’s damn hot! And with purple being one of my favorite colors, I LOVE this bondage set.

Ashley is in hot stockings, collared like a good slave, and strategically bound. You can click on the photos to see more of her hot photos in this set!!!

CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGES



Love,
Jackie

Ok,
Many of you have asked me numerous times. Yes, I’m a pornstar…………. but, I started out in the mainstream movie world, moved to fetish, and then onto porn. Fetish was and always will be at the heart of my soul.

I knew I was a freak from the first time I saw Penelope Pitstop. I was around 6 years old. She was tied up and left on the railroad tracks by the evil villian, and then rescued by the hunky guy. That was it for me! I fell in love with bondage and fetish. I kept it secret for a really long time.

I can remember one time driving in the car with my mom. I must have been around 11 years old. I had slipped my hands under my seatbelt, and in my head, I was being tied up and held down. All of a sudden, my mother says, “What on earth are you doing?”. I remember being super embarrassed, and I had no answer for her. I think I might have said something like, “My hands were stuck.” But, I’m sure it was ridiculous. And I’m sure that is why I remember it.

All of my dance shows, everything I did was geared towards fetish. I loved the corsets, I loved the look and feel of fetish art, and I loved delving into the minds of those that have fetishes. We don’t know why we are this way, we are just born this way.

Some say that when we do porn, and we do more and more…………… we need more and more to get the same original ‘rush’ or orgasm. It wasn’t like that for me. I am a fetishist true and true. Always was. No different than a little boy that knows he is attracted to men from a very young age.

I always ask the guys that come see me for foot fetish when they knew. I would say 90% tell me they knew by the age of 10. When you have a true fetish, you can’t help it. It’s just innate in you.

I love everything about the power exchange. I love the mind games, I love the fantasy, and I love the intense trust that goes into giving into someone completely, or someone giving into you. I get wet when a slave is willing to do anything to please me, and to the extreme!

I get wet when I’m in bondage, and I know I’m at the whim of anothers fantasy, and anything could happen. (As long as I trust the person)

When I’m going over photos, and posting them on here…………… I get wet thinking about what I had done, or what I would do.

So, the porn industry was the industry where I could blossom, and not feel like such a freak. Anything and everything was accepted. I was accepted, and for the first time, I didn’t feel like such an outsider.

Love,
Jackie

This weekend was SOOO HOT! Not only in the sense that it was muggy, and steamy outside, but, it was just plain HOT! I think when the weather gets like this, something inside of me just wells up and wants to fuck EVERYTHING!

Many of you know that I live on some acreage, and there is much work to be done. So, I’ve had these guys working on my property for quite some time. They are young, in their mid 20’s, and they are strong. I LOVE men that can fix things. To me, that is just such a huge turn on. A man that can walk up to anything, and say, “Oh yes, let me grab my hammer. I can fix that!”. PHEW!! So, needless to say, with all these guys working around me, I’m pretty hot and bothered all the time with how much I am turned on by them. As I’m in my kitchen watching them work, I can’t decide which one of them I’d like to bang the most.

Of course the answer is any one of them. They can all fix stuff, and they are all men………. which is what turns me on the most! So, it was Friday, and they were all finishing up their work, and I asked them if they’d like to come in and have a drink. So, the 5 of them came in. (I will leave their names out to protect the guilty). I’ll call them, workers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. So, I could tell that number 5 was really shy, and he could barely look me in the eyes. I figured, what the hell, I’ll poor it on strong and see if any of them bite.

Well, 2, 4, and 5 politely had some iced tea and left. Number one and three stayed. And I could tell it was ON!! I decided to change my clothes right in front of them to see if that would drop enough of a hint!! Well………………. it was. Number 1 didn’t let me get my clothes on. I had grabbed a quick little sundress that I was going to change into if they didn’t bite. I dropped my shorts and tank top, and as I reached for my sundress, number one stepped right in. He just grabbed me and kissed me. I could tell number 3 was SUPER surprised. He just watched as if he wasn’t sure what to do.

Number one and I started making out and just dropped to the floor right in the living room. He was on top of my dry humping me, with his tongue pressed down my throat. I think he was testing me to see how deep I could take him. He had all of his clothes on, and I still had a pink g-string on. Number three was still completely wide eyed! (DAMN I WISH I HAD A CAMERA!!!!) I was so totally WET!

Pretty soon, he had all of his clothes off and number three started to step in closely. I could see him unzipping his pants cautiously. As if he was still unsure what was ‘allowed’ to happen. I still had my g-string on, and I sat up and gave them both blowjobs at the same time. Now, number 3 was beginning to relax.

I laid back, and number 3 began to eat me. He didn’t remove my g-string. In fact, my g-string was NEVER removed through this entire thing. Both guys just kept tugging at it, moving it from one side to the other, and pulling it tightly onto me. (that was a HUGE turn on for me). Number 3 tugged my g-string and licked me at the same time. My g-string was soaked! While he did that, I continued to deepthroat number one.

We went on for hours, and the crazy part is, we went on ALL WEEKEND! I couldn’t possibly give you ALL the play by play details. Maybe I’ll write more later. But, if you can imagine, we did EVERY POSITION POSSIBLE!! Including my two favorites, which are doggie, and pile driver.

So, they left about an hour ago………….. and they will be back to work tomorrow morning, but, it’s back to work and business as usual……………… and I’ll be lusting. Below is a photo of myself that I’m sure I will replay OVER and OVER again this week just trying to replay this whole weekend!

Love,
Jackie

This was a super fun week for me! It was my birthday (on May 20th), so, I took some time to myself. Some time to relax at the spa, get a facial (not the adult kind!), and splurge with a two hour body massage. I couldn’t help but think of Kylie Ireland! The very first time I ever went to a spa like that……………. she took me.
(Kylie Ireland)


We were in California and she told me about this great Korean place! So, we go there, and they don’t speak any English. (I love places like that!) But, when we walked in, it was women only. We weren’t sure what we ordered or payed for, but, we accepted and in we went! Inside, there were alot of women, and all of them were either showering, or shaving. There was a sauna to hang out in, and it was basically a no clothing type of place. So, I guess we had ordered a body scrub and massage. We go into this room and the women that were going to give us the massage were taking their clothes off. (At this point, I was thinking, “Kylie, what exactly did we pay for here?”) They changed into bathing suits, and we were told to go into the shower room.

In the shower room there were 5 massage tables. So, Kylie, myself, and 3 other women were in there. They gave us the body scrub and massage in the shower! It was AWESOME!! They scrub you down with loofah’s, and I mean………….. SCRUB! They don’t miss any inch of you. Then, they washed my hair, they put cucumbers over my eyes and a cucumber mask on my face………. and then the massage! WOW! So awesome! I was hooked! (finally, yet, ANOTHER use for cucumbers! Ha!)

Kylie is just an awesome girl! She’s one of my favorite ‘porn’ people. Great sense of humor, and a ton of fun to be around. I’ve had quite a few travel excursions with her. We went to Mexico together, and we had a great fun sex romp in New Zealand. I’d show you the footage if I could ever pry it out of Evan Stone’s hands. I still haven’t been able to get it from him!!!

Love,
Jackie

Kylie In Hot Anal Action


Evan Stone In Action
With X-Girlfriend Jessica Drake


Love,
Jackie Lick

You know……………….. I always had mixed emotions about dating someone that I’d met on the internet, but, being that I don’t hang out in bars, I have always found it kind of difficult to meet someone. Also, the fact that I’m a pornstar trying to date, it makes it kind of, well, strange at times.

I’ve had my share of crappy dates, that’s for sure! Especially when living in Los Angeles. The internet can always make things kind of weird. I had one guy that pursued me through myspace for over a year. I kept telling him that we weren’t a match, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally, I agreed to meet him in a public place for dinner. We got along okay, and started dating. After awhile, he started to get sort of serious with me, but, I had somewhere to be that evening. He said he’d call me the next day, but, I went on his myspace page the next morning and took a peek ………….. and there was a very sexy photo cartoon of a guy and a girl in a really hot doggie position, and the girl said on his comment page, “This was us last night”. Now, being that I’m open minded, the girl was pretty damn hot. I would have gladly joined in with the two of them. But, I guess some people enjoy the thrill of lying, and doing something they feel is ‘forbidden’. So, that ended that. Ugh! The last thing I want is drama.

So, that is just ONE example of the dates I’ve had from myspace and other internet sites. Some were great………….. in fact, most were pretty cool. But, we are in a weird age of technology.

I was asking one of my male friends what he thought about dating on the internet, and he was telling me there are two different philosophies. Some people actually want to date, get to know each other, and some people actually just want to fuck. Being that I fuck all the time, (and love it), I’m mostly about wanting to get to know people. So, he was telling me about Adult Friend Finder

I said I had seen that company around for YEARS! I said to him, “None of those girls are real, are they?”. He totally laughed at me. He said he’s been a member for a long time, and that, “YES, THE GIRLS ARE REAL!!!”. I always thought it was some ad for cam sites or something like that. He informed me that I was HIGHLY mistaken!

So, evidently, if you are looking for your own personal kinky partner, this is the place to go!!! CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO ADULT FRIEND FINDER

And if you have a personal experience with it, or you have already, please comment on this blog! I’d love to hear it!
Love,
Jackie

Tree hugger, tofu eater, adult film star (and much worse that can’t be spoken!), deviant, sinner, pornographer, porn star, environmentalist, extremist.

What am I, anyways? And what else could I be called? I’m sure there are plenty of names that I haven’t heard that have been spoken behind my back. Otherwise, I’d include them here. It’s funny how someone can call me an adult film actress and say it with the utmost respect… then, when the fact that I’m in the industry makes that same person uncomfortable for one reason or another, or that person is mad at me for other reasons, they can call me the same thing, “Porn Star” in a manner of disgust and contempt.

The same person will lovingly call me a tree hugger when it suits them, and say it with contempt when it suits them as well. A guy can call me dirty names (whore) while we are in bed, and it’s a turn on, but that same guy can call me the same dirty name when I’m walking down the street, and I feel sorry for him for being so ignorant.

I’ve been called a lot of things, but who am I really? Yes, I’m all of those things I’ve been called at one time in my life or another. We all are. When some may consider me a whore for being an adult film star, I may consider that same person a whore for working for the last 18 years in a job that makes him completely unhappy. Others consider me a deviant, because they assume that I have sex for money. That’s actually not true, but, again, this is their ignorance. The sex I would have for free. I love it. What I actually get paid for is sharing my face with the world. I get paid for the social stigma that’s been placed on me for doing something I love to do. I get paid for being called a whore, not for actually BEING a whore.

My family gives me a lot of grief over being a vegetarian. I haven’t eaten red meat since I was 13 years old. I quit eating other animal products when I turned 18, and at this point, I don’t think it’s a “phase”. My mother actually told me that I eat the way I do just to “spite” her. Wow, did that come as a shock to me. My not eating meat is not because I have strong political beliefs about the mass killing of animals for profit. It’s not because I personally think it’s disgusting and it’s not because the thought of putting pork on my plate would be no different to me than putting my family dog on my plate, and it couldn’t possibly be because I feel we are ruining our environment with all the chemicals and steroids we pump into our animals before they are lead to the slaughter. Nope, it’s all just to spite my mother. And, so, my own family calls me tree hugger, environmentalist, and other priceless names when they are trying to put me down. I don’t take it too personally; I feel they are just hiding behind it. If they were to really look at the issues it would mean they would have to change, and who wants to do that?

I sleep well at night. I don’t do anything to hurt anyone — ever. Do as you will, but harm none is my motto. Yes, I am sexually open, but, never at the expense of other’s feelings. I have never been “the other woman”. I would never have sex with someone (even if I want to really, really bad), at the expense of someone else’s pain. If it’s going to cause someone pain, I won’t do it. I place as little wear and tear on our planet as I possibly can. Though I feel guilty about flying at times, and using fuel that is killing our planet, I also make a lot of my own household cleaners, I flush very few chemicals down my drain, I buy organic and I don’t buy genetically modified organisms — even if it is quite a bit more expensive. I consider these acts part of my donation to the planet. In addition, I try to educate others about how important our environment is and I contribute in good ways to society whenever I can. I also try to educate people on sexuality, and help rid them of the needless guilt our society has put on them.

I’m the black sheep in every way shape and form. I dance to my own tune, I walk to the beat of my own drummer and that makes me different. And though some in society look upon my way of living as honorable, some look down upon it. In both cases it’s me. It’s who I am. And I wear every label proudly.